Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
