You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
