Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Let's get the cat blown out
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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