Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
