Dual....:-)
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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