I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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