I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
