So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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