Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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