after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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