we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
