So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
