Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
