Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
