suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
