I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
