Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
