no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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