I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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