Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
