He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
