Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
