paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I looked at my own cervix.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
