Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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