u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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