you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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