I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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