hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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