singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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