Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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