omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
