Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
