I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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