Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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