I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
