I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
