dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
