Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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