i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
