How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
