READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
