somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
