HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
