Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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