remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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