you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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