bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
