thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
COCAINE IS GR8
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
