WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
