No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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