I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
