worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
